borrkan asked: its so ironic that despite your all efforts to be so patetic and worthless there are many men outside who want to have you and you get to decide whom to chose. such a power in your hand still. do you know what you realy are? you are just an ordinary woman nothing else and becoming absurdly more valuable as you try to degrade yourself. i suggest chose someone already and hand that power over to that one unconditionaly cause it sickens me that such a piece of meat is still powerful.

If Im reading this right, youre saying I have power because people I dont even know want to use me?

I take it as the exact opposite, people I dont even know are thought-raping me, and its wonderful. I cant think of a way to be less worthless as its happening without me knowledge.

I have to admit that this concept is a crazy can of worms though. Thank you for sparking the thought.

happyunbirthday2u asked: I'm very glad to find out you are still alive and well. I was worried about you. Having you be so open about so much on your blog, it was as if a friend had vanished. Please do not think I am having any delusions of anything, just letting you know that at least one person is happy that you still exist.

Thank you. This is only semi related to your message but Ill take the chance to get this out.

Im still around, but Im having trouble writing anything lately. Ive logged on a few times and just kind of sat here looking at pics I have in my drafts but I cant seem to get down thoughts like I used to, so rather than just reblog pics I end up…well, doing nothing.

Its still really nice knowing people enjoy(ed?) my rants enough that they were missed, so I feel like a bit of a bitch for going quiet. Sorry.

I cant deny the sense of excitement at the amount of cock I shall see tonight. Big ones, small ones, thick and thin, black and white, cut and uncut. So many possibilities and combinations.
And yet the thing that gives me butterflys the most, the thing Im hopping for with all my heart, is that at the end of the night not one single square of toilet paper will have been used. That is how I will know that I have served well, that I have been used.

I cant deny the sense of excitement at the amount of cock I shall see tonight. Big ones, small ones, thick and thin, black and white, cut and uncut. So many possibilities and combinations.

And yet the thing that gives me butterflys the most, the thing Im hopping for with all my heart, is that at the end of the night not one single square of toilet paper will have been used. That is how I will know that I have served well, that I have been used.

(Source: mancavelounge, via shinyretrostingy)

Forget the damp cheeks that have have had 1000 tears flow over them, puffy and slightly bruised…forget the stinging crop marks on the tender, inner thighs….
I would be disappointed if those wing-nuts arent somehow attached to a nipple clamp or nipple ring on the inside. The combination of reducing her to some kind of debauched (albeit practical) piece of IKEA furniture, everything hidden away that isnt immediately useful like her holes, with the bonus of a direct and yet abstracted way of torturing the contents….it just sits very nicely with me.

Forget the damp cheeks that have have had 1000 tears flow over them, puffy and slightly bruised…forget the stinging crop marks on the tender, inner thighs….

I would be disappointed if those wing-nuts arent somehow attached to a nipple clamp or nipple ring on the inside. The combination of reducing her to some kind of debauched (albeit practical) piece of IKEA furniture, everything hidden away that isnt immediately useful like her holes, with the bonus of a direct and yet abstracted way of torturing the contents….it just sits very nicely with me.

(Source: hado99, via slaveshouse)

Its funny how the simple things can often have the biggest effect. The single word ‘NO’ spoken firmly can be much more of a jolt out of an undesirable mood or action than some yelling or swearing rant.
And on the same level, something simple like this, standing in the corner after a simple arse slapping just like you would give a snotty child can really humiliate in a way that more elaborate punishments often dont, especially if its administered in front of your peers.. These are the things that stick in your mind and alter future behaviour.

Its funny how the simple things can often have the biggest effect. The single word ‘NO’ spoken firmly can be much more of a jolt out of an undesirable mood or action than some yelling or swearing rant.

And on the same level, something simple like this, standing in the corner after a simple arse slapping just like you would give a snotty child can really humiliate in a way that more elaborate punishments often dont, especially if its administered in front of your peers.. These are the things that stick in your mind and alter future behaviour.

(Source: sadisticgames, via expansivelust)

You silly, bitch!

I could abuse you well beyond your wildest dreams from what i’ve seen on here, despite all this bullshit negative energy with no willpower to change, your fantasies aren’t really that dark or abusive and only a fraction of the ‘badness’ i’ve dished out on the one i used to be with and who i have a mutual life connection with.

But whatever. You can change. I know you might say something along the lines of ‘Oh but all i want to do now is be a piece of meat blah blah blah i’m pathetically weak’.

The thing is, in a way your mind is trying to take the weak way of healing its past damage, and by GIVING IN to ‘use me i’m broken with no hope’ you can heal yourself and in the end be much, much more satisfied with an emotionally healthier life which you will enjoy a lot more.

Its one of those things that just seems impossible, if not BEYOND impossible, like ‘Nope, i’m irreversably broken and that’s the end of my life there’. No, what? Only if you keep yourself weak, only if you give in to it, only if you (basically) feel like being a pathetic idiot and ACTING like some pathetic waste of life. No.

The human mind is near to limitless (if not limitless) in its power and the mind and heart can work together to heal themselves, all of that is well within reach if you put in the time and don’t be some pathetic UNWANTED bitch for the way you’re acting. Listen to yourself - 

'I want to give myself fully to someone to be abused massively so i can be giving pleasure as my final purpose in life' - uuuuuuhhhh… YOU WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED NOT BORN WITH CEREBRAL PALSY YOU ANNOYING BITCH! Use more than 2 brain cells, please?

If you want to get that back what you need emotionally mental physically and spiritually you need to start challenging your thoughts and show your POWER and AUTHORITY over your own mind, then once you start challenging your own thoughts, you can overpower that negative, pathetic, pointless and self-defeating way of thinking (and way of living even maybe!) and take the longer, harder, steeper path towards true happiness or carry walking down the easier, flatter but duller path that just worsens as you continue down it?

I could write so much more, much much more, i could respond to you non-stop, to dig you out of that pit you are much, much too complacent in.

You’re full of shit and it’s just annoying. You’re so weak you’re just taken on this ‘skin’ of bullshit.

You might as well change the title up top there to ‘Weak irritating bitch’ and the ‘About’ on the side there should change to ‘I got abused as a child, and although its well within my reach to heal myself, i choose to be some pathetic lazy bitch and just show how ungrateful i am by going on, following that shitty path when i could just within a SPLIT SECOND completely change my path. But no, i’m pathetic and lazy and blatantly have the intelligence to help myself, but no….’

Ah.. You piss me off. Shut up please. You don’t know what abuse is. Ungrateful fucking bitch. You’re laughing in the face of happiness whilst wiping your shitty asscrack on the most beautiful thing that is in the universe. LIFE. ONE CHANCE. You’ve gone a fraction through it and you’re acting like you’ve given up already.

Once again, it’s weak, pathetic, and irritating and not even in an appealing way. The fact that you want it so much actually does the opposite and makes me want to give you it more, the more you hold it back, the more i’m going to give it to you. Beyond your wildest dreams. And that’s just me as an example. In short, you’re doing the OPPOSITE thing you should do to get what you want.

I could go on until the end of time and then some.

Irritating waste of air. Grrr.

PS. If I fucked you you’d be TOO, TOO fucking broken to ever chat a pathetic word of shit ever again in your life.

Bitch. Get some guts.

Its almost like you only read the first half of my blog? Everything youve said I think Ive at least acknowledged as issues, if not made some progress on, but thats ok. For such an annoying, irritating bitch, whos so full of shit and not worth the time, that was sure a large amount of words. 

She might be in pain, joints aching, hands numb from lack of circulation. She might be crying, humiliated and degraded. But every single one of her fellow slaves look with  jealousy and envy. She is getting the attention and love each of them crave. 

She might be in pain, joints aching, hands numb from lack of circulation. She might be crying, humiliated and degraded. But every single one of her fellow slaves look with  jealousy and envy. She is getting the attention and love each of them crave. 

(via deservingoftorment-deactivated2)

I know Ive been serving Him well because He chose me as the welcoming gift for arrivals to the party. From the moment they turn the corner my holes are open and on display, inviting the guests in - in more ways than one. About half way up the stairs they would notice the little trail of juice oozing out of my cunt, pooling a little in my arsehole before dripping onto the red carpet.
The contrast of that small but pure spot on the carpet on the way in, against the large puddle of mixed wetness and cum that has worked its way down 2 levels of stairs on the way out confirms that the party has been successfull, and that I have served well again.

I know Ive been serving Him well because He chose me as the welcoming gift for arrivals to the party. From the moment they turn the corner my holes are open and on display, inviting the guests in - in more ways than one. About half way up the stairs they would notice the little trail of juice oozing out of my cunt, pooling a little in my arsehole before dripping onto the red carpet.

The contrast of that small but pure spot on the carpet on the way in, against the large puddle of mixed wetness and cum that has worked its way down 2 levels of stairs on the way out confirms that the party has been successfull, and that I have served well again.

(Source: gregorystgermain, via filthytumblr)

A question

Have you ever been choked (strangled) out? Would it hurt you enough, when I would do it, and piss/cum o you afterwards?

I havent. Ive probably come close a few times, and its not something I have any fear of. In a strange way its kind of a fantasy. I say ‘strange’ because Im not really sure if you can have a fantasy about something you wouldnt actually be around to experience. But you know what I mean. Waking up in some corner, bruised neck, no real memory of what happened, various fluids of undetermined nature on and around me…probably in me.

Not to mention the whole thing of ‘well, if I didnt actually wake up, at least I went out giving someone a hell of a time’, but Im trying not to get all morbid here any more.

Is that ice? Damn thats cruel and I love it!

Is that ice? Damn thats cruel and I love it!

(via fesselluder)

happyunbirthday2u asked: I actually only made a Tumblr name so that I could send a message and not be one of your hundreds, maybe thousands, of anonymous askers. You've honestly made a very profound impact on my life and how I treat people. Also, you've changed how I view love, pain, hurt, loss, and how one can help someone. You're an incredible person and I am ecstatic that I've known you as much as I have. And to think. I found you from searching for fucked up, sexually deviant pornography. Live long and prosper.

While its hard to know, and Id hate to be presumptive, if those changes in view were for the better (and its all relative anyway really) or not, the idea that my random posting on a quiet corner of the internet can change peoples thoughts on ANYTHING is still something that makes me feel… I dont know really. Its still a relatively new and foreign experience for me. Whatever way theyve changed, if its made things easier or clearer in some little way, that genuinely, and kind of strangely, makes my day.

Either way, thank you for the message, and I hope you still got your fucked up, sexually deviant porn fix!

This has to be like, top 3 of things that would literally scare the shit out of me. And yet it excites me if I imagine a scenario where someone else is in that position. Its also one of the few situations where I could imagine myself getting some pleasure out of being the one with power and control while I had my plaything in there.
Reminds me of that ‘the box’ story. Or that Slipknot (?) song about that guy who buried some woman and beat off every night listening to her die.
Im not quite sure what that says about me, but Im sure its probably a very bad thing.

This has to be like, top 3 of things that would literally scare the shit out of me. And yet it excites me if I imagine a scenario where someone else is in that position. Its also one of the few situations where I could imagine myself getting some pleasure out of being the one with power and control while I had my plaything in there.

Reminds me of that ‘the box’ story. Or that Slipknot (?) song about that guy who buried some woman and beat off every night listening to her die.

Im not quite sure what that says about me, but Im sure its probably a very bad thing.

(Source: beautifulbdsm, via patientlittlegirl)

Tags: coffin grave

Love her expression! Shes obviously proud to be tied like that. The act itself is exciting, as is the fact shes showing off (either by choice or command), but its that underlying expression thats kind of sheepish or shy. Theres still a little modesty in her and I think thats a beautiful thing because it shows she still has more to give.

Love her expression! Shes obviously proud to be tied like that. The act itself is exciting, as is the fact shes showing off (either by choice or command), but its that underlying expression thats kind of sheepish or shy. Theres still a little modesty in her and I think thats a beautiful thing because it shows she still has more to give.

(Source: farmd0g, via ropebondage)

Interesting.

Interesting.

(via bondagedream)

Thats awesome!
For some reason chain ‘leashes’ connected to body parts through piercings always make my mind race straight to the fantasy/scenario of being out in public like that. It doesnt have involve nudity or exhibitionism, in fact its almost hotter if the chain leads to a clit ring by just disappearing up under a skirt, or to a nipple ring by running through the gap between buttons on a shirt. It leaves something to the imagination.
But mostly its more like how couples walk around holding hands, except we are connected through the chain. Its a public show of affection that undeniably conveys the message that I am His.

Thats awesome!

For some reason chain ‘leashes’ connected to body parts through piercings always make my mind race straight to the fantasy/scenario of being out in public like that. It doesnt have involve nudity or exhibitionism, in fact its almost hotter if the chain leads to a clit ring by just disappearing up under a skirt, or to a nipple ring by running through the gap between buttons on a shirt. It leaves something to the imagination.

But mostly its more like how couples walk around holding hands, except we are connected through the chain. Its a public show of affection that undeniably conveys the message that I am His.

(via mm12)

Tags: chain